Today was an ordinary day. Wasn't awake till 12am, was thinking about this or that. Thinking about you, and you, because I c'ant put a feeling or a word about what I think. I wanna go there with you but, it's seems to be so weird. I want you to invite me once more but I know I don't have to think about those things. Because I don't wanna wait and I wanna try something with other you. Why can't I read in their mind. I don't even know what I want. Too much things to see, and to much. It's just so hard to keep my mouth shut while I want to say so many things whithout any shame. Any regret, any fear. And that dream, that dream, does it means...??? Impossible, I don't know, I don't wanna know, I don't wanna spoil it all. It's too odd. I also think...some things that I regret, that I shouldn't have done. I didn't want to kiss you, when I think about that I spoilt every thing Did I?? I don't even like you, I was just not fine. I don't have to react like that, it was and it is do stupid but they make me feel uncomfortable and it drives me soo mad. I want some space. I don't know what I want about you two. But anyway that's impossible. Is it something, myself trying to tell me that I'm not ready, because I always want impossible things. You said you stayed with her for some kinda stupid things. I don't know what to think and what to say. I don't even know if I like you. Do I?? But anyway there's that space. I'm waiting for the next party. But it seems so far away. So damn far away, and I'm sure this won't be like I will want. Everyone is waiting some thingsn precise things in those parties but everyone finishes disapointed. I don't wanna be disappointed. I try to handle it but I actually can't. This is so damn fucking boring. I want to be in peace. Not to think about you all. You distract me. I want to be the girl I always wanted to be, but it seems that when I walk a meter I come back for two meters. I can't go any further while the others are. I just want to find you. Will I? I don't want to be alone. I've been so all my life. I want to find you. Even if you'll make me suffer, I don't care for the very moment. I just don't want to be alone by now. I've been too friend with loneliness and I want to leave it. To abandon it and to forget it. I want you to help me, because I think I'm not fine at the very moment.
I just need to find you.